Why mamas love a dirty talk

That's the deal, we all knew that soon or later this would happen, I know it doesn't smell good, I know it's nasty, but c'mon, let's talk about poo.

If there is something I was not even thinking twice about my motherhood journey was that, YES, we were going to use disposable nappies. I was "that's it, c'mon, we're already all by ourselves in a foreign country, we don't have help, soon husband will go to work and I'll alone take care of this baby. So, let's make life simple and use nappies!"

At the same time, you have to agree with me, this "all eco" moms, they are very nice and everything, but there is also something nuts about them. I saw a doc the other day about families that don't use nappies at all. They have learned how to see by baby's expression that a pee or poo is on it's way and they ruuuuuun to the toilet or the nearest bush, spread little baby's legs so baby can do his business.

I was all about "this is nuts", there will be poo on the floor, what about the water they use to wash so many baby clothes, blah blah blah. I was trying to stick with my guilt about using disposable nappies with honour till the end.

Well, I received one little email from another pregnant friend asking about nappies, and that was it, I started thinking. Of course, I want to be practical, I want baby to have a soft, clean, squeezable lil' bottom but will I sleep well knowing that disposable nappies are the third largest contributors to landfill in the world and yet only 5% of the population uses them? That a single nappy can take up to 500 years to biodegrade? And that in the UK only, 10 million nappies are binned everyday?

And yet, I remember that image of a poor tired mom running through the house with a baby already peeing himself, trying to reach the toilet in time, and it still makes me laugh.

Well, that's how I found gNappies. They are a mix of a 100% cotton nappy cover, with disposable inside liners that not only promisse to be 100% biodegradable, but also to be gentle and effective for your baby.

I still don't know what this family here will do. And I also don't want judgmental eyes at me if you meet me for a coffee and I'm using normal nappies (not me, hahaha, baby!) but it surely makes me think.
I might give it a try. Who knows, maybe this baby girl will come to the planet already helping to save us all.

The coolest baby in the block

I absolutely love a baby in pajamas. There is nothing cozier, cuter and let's say comfortable than a baby in cotton all-in-ones. I believe babies should wear only comfy clothes. I wish we adults could only wear pajamas as well, but this may sound a bit freak :p

Good news are, here in Europe, there are lots of baby clothes brands that agree with me. That babies should be all day in 100% cotton, stretchy outfits. But the best part is that there are people out there fighting against the pink-blue dictatorship who think kids should be fun and wear cool prints.

I'm all about repeating patterns in the moment and am in absolute love with these brands.

Here there's a little selection of my favorite baby brands:

Bobo Chooses

Me and I

Polarn O. Pyret

Beau Loves

Biggest trouble with those brands is that it's kind of impossible to have a competitive price with big brands (read: GAP), and we, new moms, know how quick our babies will grow so it's kind of complicated to have only cool and bold clothes. But, in my opinion, is already good enough to have people out there trying to make a difference and have a market for cool kids who have personality since the crib.

And her name is...

Only 6 and a half weeks to go and things are getting pretty real around here.

It's almost there. Baby is getting big, and life is getting more uncomfortable.

I had the best pregnancy I could ever imagine (so far), being super active, full of energy, I didn't get nauseous at all. But now, at this very end, I'm a mess. Super tired, baby is pushing my belly so hard that hurts, constantly peeing, difficulty to sleep. wow, the list is getting bigger.

Well, I believe is only normal, as there is less space for her inside my uterus. Of course, the lack of comfort is proportional to the anxiety now. Look, I'm super calm, but can't deny I'm getting a bit anxious for her to arrive.

I was putting all my focus on arranging her nursery room, buying her stuff, but right now things are kind of done and all I need to do is wait. (LIE: I still need to pack the hospital bag!!!!!)

I finally finished the door sign I was doing for her. When I first got pregnant I had a dream that I was going to do all by myself, sew the cot bumper, cushions, everything! But - of course - I didn't. Although, I'm glad I made her two little but very important things: her door sign and an illustration we still need to frame.

Both items contain something that I believe was the most difficult decision of my life: finding her a name. Naming a child can be so tough!!! But we got to an agreement and, really, I can't imagine her having any other name right now. It's SO her!

Are you curious? Here it is!

Clara is a latin name, and in portuguese means clear, bright, luminous. I know she will have a bit of a problem with her name if we keep living in English speaking countries but she'll be alright!

She will be happy we are passing to her a bit of our brazilianity and will feel special.

Be welcome, Clara! Your home is ready for you.

The picture frame I'll post later when it's on the wall :)

Getting close...

Yesterday one friend of mine got her baby 3 weeks before her due date. WOW. It made me think that our little girl can be at home with us sooner than I think. Husband says that she won't, that if she is just like her mama, she'll be a lazy litte girl who will only wake up at last minute.

The point I wanna get is that it is very close. Only a few days more than 7 weeks. 7 weeks!!!!!
And to think that when I realised I was pregnant I had to keep secret for 12 weeks and it just looked like eternity to me. 12 loooooooong weeks keeping the secret out from everyone. It was hard.

And now things changed so much, I'm big, the belly is the first thing people notice about me. Baby girl has a name, and a room for her, so many things, more clothes than her mama. She's already our number one priority, everything we do and plan is for her.

I can't even imagine how it might feel to finally see her, squeeze her feet on my hands, kiss her head, see her opening her eyes and feeding her with my own body. It's truly amazing.

Hey baby girl, it's Mama here. Look, we are crazy about meeting you. Your mama and daddy already love you very much. If you think it's funny to arrive at New Year's Eve, so do it. There are gonna be fireworks in the sky to celebrate your arrival, sweet pea.

Victoria Park, London. 32 weeks.

Pink

Everything is pink when we are talking about baby girls. All the gifts you receive, the toys, the dresses. It's like a pink dictatorship.
At the beginning, when planning her nursery, I was trying very hard to avoid pink. I just thought it was way too normal. Also because you have to be really careful with pink shades, there are a few shades of pink that are just sickening!
So, I was tending to go to yellow all the way. But it was after planning her baby shower that I realized that yellow and pink go really well together. Not any pink, but one particular shade of pink that I love.
And that became a little obsession to me. Pink and Yellow obsession.

And that's what I've just found on etsy:

http://www.etsy.com/listing/113168015/baby-bedding-baby-comforter-toddler

http://www.etsy.com/listing/101952166/round-rug-floor-crochet-100cm

They are going to look heavenly with the yellow cot bumber and changing mat from Färg & Form that I already got:

They are both quite expensive so it's more like a treat. Even more because not even one of them are on my essentials item's list. Let's see... Does the fact that it's my birthday next week a reason good enough to commit such a crazy act?

Oh well... dreams, dreams, never ending dreams.

Very Stylish Babies

Every new mum knows the huge market out there of evil-gorgeous-overpriced products, targeting us, new mums, those who have just waited too long for this precious baby to come to the world, who are willing to give everything to their kids.
Okay. Now you add the fact that there are designer mums to the equation and try to figure out how dangerous this might be.
Because now, not only a totally unnecessary item is SO necessary BUT, at the same time, it NEEDS to be beautiful and in harmony with your house.
Those bastards, they really know how to catch a mum's heart (or wallet).

*giggles
**tears

Lucky me I have a friend who told me very wise words as soon as I got pregnant: a baby needs very little, almost nothing, just a pair of breasts and some warm clothes.

I've been using those words like a mantra, every time I see a perfect piece of design like this:

The most perfect baby high chair, that brilliantly match our dinner table chairs, with the most simple and yet pretty design I've ever seen. Oh, and very, VERY expensive.

The design studio behind this beauty is the Spanish CuldeSac. A big high five to them. Unfortunately this is not for this mama here, but surely it's something I can dream about it.

What does make you heart melt?

My birth plan: Do it with love!

There are lots of fears and concerns about becoming a parent. There are no rights and wrongs, there is no book that's gonna teach you how to become a role model to your kid. Or to yourself.
Now, I'm more into the "role to myself" part as baby has not been born yet. First: the birth.

Since we live in England and here the antenatal care and birth are mainly ruled by midwives in a more natural way, I decided I will go all hippie style and try a non-medical birth. I've been reading books about how to deliver a baby naturally, with no intervention, how to cope with the pain, the concerns, and mainly, the judgement.
Where I come from, in Brazil, I would have had a planned c-section for sure. It's the way things happen there, beyond being good or bad for baby and mother, it's just the way they do it. And even having your belly cut 7 layers of flesh, I have to say it's a bit comforting to know I would go to the hospital at the planned time, and after 2 hours I would have my baby girl in my arms.
Ot the other hand, I'm planning to go for the full longest pain I've ever been through. But I'm happy with my choice. I believe I can do it as many women have been doing for thousands of years. I might just need a bit of support from people I love, that's all.

I've been trying to convince myself that with love everything is possible. No hard words, no screams, non unnecessary fear. That I will, together with husband, love and cherish this moment, treat us with respect, try to laugh, try to praise him and tell him every single moment that he's the best partner I could ever ask, and that together we can deliver this baby girl the best way we can.

And that if I just can't, doctors and nurses will be there to help me, in any sort of way to bring baby girl to the world. And it doesn't matter really if they have to use this or that instrument to help me, I don't care and will not be frustrated, I just want my little baby in my arms healthy and happy.

See you in 2 months, baby girl.

Me and my hippie mama trousers, or "paaaants" how they call in San Francisco, with 26 weeks

WHO'S BACK IN THE HOUSE?

I am!!!
I couldn't find time to change the blog's layout. Between the trip to San Francisco, the journey home (Brazil) to show everyone the belly, the return back to London and all the preparing to the arrival of baby girl, I'm totally without any spare time.

But this girl here inspired me to come back writing again. Even with an old layout. Yes, I still want to share my mama thoughts and ambitions, fears and silly wishes for this baby girl who's joining our family in December.

This is the latest picture I have, it's been ages ago, I was 26 weeks by then (I'm 30 today!) but it's a picture I love. It has everything I like, beautiful beach, warm weather, great smile in my face and my pretty baby inside the belly.

I'm bigger now, and here in London the weather is much MUCH colder and it's a bit difficult to show the belly around, but I promisse to take more pictures.

I'll also show you how the nursery room is looking now, it's SO cute! I have what they call nesting syndrome. I just can't stop building stuff for her. I believe this week I might take some photos of the nursery to show you guys how cute is our sweet girl's room.

It's good to be back, I won't be that far, I swear.

Love, xx.

COMING SOON...

This blog is under (re)construction!!!

I was just about to shut this page down due to my lack of posts and also my lack of readers, but I decided I'll try harder, I'm not the kind that quit and I also love having a space to talk.

So, I'm gonna shake it up things around here.

New design and new topics. I'll focus on my role as a mom-to-be and the challenges I'll find through pregnancy and as a first time mother.

I'll share frustrations, cuteness, doubts, tears, smiles and love.

Please, be patient, this might take a few weeks to be done and I don't work well under pressure.

To be continued...

xx, Helena

Dear blog,

Sorry to use such a harsh word but I really suck writing a blog! I shouldn't, but I do! I'm always leaving you behind, forgetting to post, prioritizing other stuff in life. I'm always apologising my lack of posts here so, maybe, I should forget about blogging.

Yes, maybe I should. I have only 8 followers, very little page views, and I'm aware this space is just not interesting enough to catch people's attention. Life is too busy and this blog is just too boring.

BOHOO

Things I love...and hate

I though this could be fun:

Helena loves:

Coffee and Milk, at any time of the day or night.
Mothers praising their kids saying how good they are on something (today I heard at the swimming pool one mama talking to her boy, saying he was swimming like a pro and that made my day)
Midweek movie date nights with husband
Sleeping on a clean bed with fresh bedsheets
Long walks with nowhere to go

Helena hates:

Injustice
Movies with extreme violence and torture
Wearing a swimming hat and goggles
Liquorice
Bad kisses on films

I also love her very much

Love in double

Yesterday I had one huge surprise that completely made my day.
I went to the doctor for a normal pregnancy check-up and I heard my baby's heartbeat.
I can't describe the cloud of happiness that has filled me up immediately. It was the cutest thing I've EVER heard, that fast little heart healthily beating inside my belly. It's true, I have two hearts now and the love I feel for husband is now double the size.

I was a bit upset he was not there with me, it was not his fault, poor man, it was just that we couldn't know I would hear baby's heart. He was so jealous that I've heart our baby and he hasn't.
And this made me think, for us, mothers is so easy to love this little human being that is growing everyday inside us, our bodies change so quick, our mood varies, it's the craziest thing, but there is a constant reminder every second of your life telling you, there is a baby inside you and he is yours.

But for fathers it might be so strange. They don't change, they don't get fat or have cravings. They are just fathers and all of a sudden the pressure of being the provider of the family, to be responsible, to do the right choices, it comes like a brick wall smashing them down.

Husband has been outstanding since we discovered we are expecting a baby. He has been the most lovable, carrying, sweet man in the world. He is passing though an extremely hard professional moment in his carrer but has been holding the stress very well not to show and pass the anxiety for the baby. I love him more and more, and now that I've realised I have two hearts everything made sense, I love him for two, cause our baby loves him very much as well.

I'm on the 17th week now, and I can't believe in only 4 weeks we will figure out if it's a boy or a girl. And we will be able to think about names, that has been so difficult to choose.

Love for you all.

Back from Berlin

First of all, I would like to apologize for that post where I was all anxious about baby shopping and arrangements. Now, after that crazy wave has gone, I see how silly I was on wasting my nights of sleep and precious time worrying. I believe I just let me overwhelm a bit with thoughts.
Exactly the same thing has happened by the time husband and I got married. Somehow I let myself be swallowed by the consumerism machinery. And in the end, it took me a good few nights of insomnia and liters of tears speared to realise that we don't follow the rules and our way of doing things is special, it's ours. So, I promised myself I will stop looking to to-do's or to-buy's lists on internet and will do our way with the baby as well. And our way is so much nicer!

This afternoon we had a quick visit to a kid's shop I love to check out the sales. Unfortunately the nursery furniture was not included on the discount, so we left empty handed. But it was good to go with husband to see cute stuff. He is amazing, I love him so much. He got all excited with the winter clothes, hahaha, we had a great time together, looking for stuff for our little one. No rush, no obligations, no pressure, just two parents having fun, holding hands and imagining our cute boy or girl using all that cute winter gear :)

About our trip to Berlin: It was amaaaaaaaaazing! Berlin is one of my favourite cities in the world, what a great atmosphere it has! We had a great time, saw some good friends, ate well, visited lots of interesting places, saw Pearl Jam and gave each other lots of kisses and hugs!

We don't have many pictures, we were not in the mood for photos, don't know why.. but here it is what we got:

We can do it!!!!

Heading to Berlin today! Yeeeey! The best of living in London is being able to travel that often!

Our baby-in-the-belly is definitely a traveller! 

I might not find time to publish many posts on these 4 days in Berlin, I'll be too busy having fun! So, I will leave you guys with an amaaaaaaaazing DIY that my friend Pinja from Pinjacolada kindly shared with us.

DIY child swing

Here's a little summer challenge for you! I put together somekind of instructions for this DIY children's swing. The model of this swing is a DIY version of a finnish children’s swing from somewhere between 70's and 80’s. My mother made a swing like this to me when I was a kid and now she made one for my daughter as well. Here are instructions to make your own children’s swing. f you get into making one with this instruction or your own please send me a photo of the ready swing by the 3rd of August nd I'll put together a gallery and maybe also a little competition/lottery with a prize!

You need:
- Strong fabric for two main parts that are sewn double-layered 98 x 30 cm (2 pieces) and 106 x 30 cm (2 pieces) 
- 430 cm bias tape to close the sides- 1 sheet of plywood 4 mm thick 28 x 28 cm
- 2 x 250-400 cm minimum 5 mm thick nylon rope 

(Check the rope length depending on how high you want to hang the swing)
- 4 x 34 cm round profile wooden sticks, width about 2 cm

Please notice that the swing with these measures is for a child between about 1-2,5 age -depending on a child's weight. To make the swing stronger you can try to use thicker wood sticks and thicker rope (you can check the weight limit of the rope while buying) with well sealed knot closings. 

The measures are not very exact ones and you might want to check them while sewing your own swing to see that for example the side heights match with the width of the wooden sticks. All the measures are marked in centimeters.

1. Start by cutting the fabric: 2 x A. 98 x 30 cm and 2 x B. 106 x 30 cm. The swing is stronger if the fabric is sewn double-layered so cut 2 pieces of fabric for both parts. Cut also the feet holes for the B part. Sew the double sided parts of both pieces together by closing them with the bias tape all around the sides. Sew the bias strip also around the foot holes of the B part. 

2. Place the sewn A. and B. parts on top of each other as a cross (picture) so that the B. part (with the foot holes) is under the A part and inner sides up. Sew the parts together in the middle, but only on 3 sides (shown with red dashed line). Leave one side open for placing the plywood sheet on the seating area. 

3. Sew the alleys for the wooden sticks. Before sewing check the measures with by folding the fabric sides around the wooden sticks and see that the sticks on the B come on top of the A part sticks (see the photo).

4. Sand the sharp ends to make them smoother with sandpaper. Drill holes from about 1,5cm from both ends of each stick. You can check this measure when the sticks are in their places. Holes need to be wide enough that the rope can fit through. 

5. Add the plywood sheet on its place.

6. Add the rope pieces on their places. Put one rope through the swing’s right side holes in front and back. Close the rope to its place by making a strong knot where the rope comes out under the wooden sticks. Add the second rope to the left side of the swing through front and back holes and add the similar knots. Adjust the length of ropes on both sides to be exactly the same to get the swing balanced. You can seal the rope ends next to the knots by melting the ends with a hot iron for example.

7. Make loop knots for hanging in the middle of both ropes and the swing is ready!

That's sooooooo cool Pinja! Thanks so much! I don't know if I'll be able to finish mine till August but I'll try! Can't wait to give Mini his/her very own swing!!!

If you guys feel adventure enough to do one yourselves, please don't forget to go to her blog and send pictures for the competition :) 

See you guys next week :)

Mama be nuts

I couldn't sleep well last night. I was the whole night designing in my head how it's gonna look the baby's nursery room. Call me crazy but I can get very overwhelmed with those kind of stuff sometimes.
How to cope with the wish of a perfect nursery and a tight budget?
What is truly important to buy and what is not?

I've started looking for ideas online and I have to say there are lots of gorgeous things on the web and I just start panicking with fear of not being able to make it that pretty.

We rent our house and here in the UK landlords can be a bit tough. Will I be able to hang things on the ceiling or put shelves on the wall? Is there a need for a sofa bed in the nursery?

Oh dear, my head was flipping around with possible positions for the cot, and color schemes, and the will of sewing it all by myself, cushions, curtains, blankets. **sigh**

How do you people do it???

I was so overwhelmed this morning that I came up with an amaaaaaazing idea. A new series on the blog, to stir things up again (this blog's been so dull lately!).
It's gonna call: Mum Like You. A new series of interviews with women who had inspired me to start this new journey as a mum-to-be. Beautiful, intelligent and talented women who have to split themselves in half everyday between being a good mother and a professional, or a wife, or a housekeeper. How this amazing super mum do it? What are their secrets?

I thought this would be a good way to help new mums-to-be (like me) to be less nervous with what comes next, less anxious with the future.

I'm sending today the questions to a couple of girls I know who I truly admire. Let's hope they answer and maybe soon we will have lots of good advices to share.

For now, I leave you guys with gorgeous nursery rooms I've found online:

Big News

Hello everyone,

I'm so sorry for neglecting the blog like I did. I hope the reason is good enough for you to forgive me:
I AM EXPECTING A BABY!

I didn't want to tell you guys before I completed 12 weeks, so I decided it was easier to stay away from the blog, otherwise I wouldn't be able to keep the secret.

I'm entering the 15th week now. I already have a small bump, witch I am sooo proud.
I'm feeling super good. No morning sickness, no side effects. Just suuuuuper tired, but that gives a good excuse for extra naps during the day.

Husband and I are thrilled, over excited with the news. We already love our little one like crazy!
We will only know if it's a boy or girl on week 20, so for now on we call him/her Mini, like a mini version of us.

I imagine him a boy, blond like husband, with cute blue eyes. Husband imagines a little girl, with black straight hair and little black eyes, so we will be happy with any :)

Another good news are that we finally have internet at home! Yeeeeeeeey! I'm full time conected again so, I promisse our posts will be much more frequent. I will fill you up with baby news, maternity wear, photos and ideas for the nursery.

Can't wait for this new journey to begin :)

Be kind!

Hello!

Today I was thinking about what blogging means to me. As many internet maniacs, I do read tons of blogs per day. Most all of them are from girls, around my age, moms, creative minds, who love arts, beautiful houses, kids and life.
You can find the links on the right bar of this page and you might see how they are all vey positive about things, and live their lives with a great atitude. They were the reason why I decided to start blogging.

Sometimes I'm amazed by how much they share about their personal lives online. Kids pictures, home pictures, feelings, family problems, parenting choices. And then, I realize how brave they are, because you need to have lots of courage to open your life and hear on the internet. I have only 8 followers and mainly they are all my friends so I never hear hard words here. But These girls, they have hundreds sometimes thousands of views per day and people are sometimes so mean, I don't understand.

People judge and judge, they are not scared of saying online that someone else is doing it wrong or being stupid. I can't believe how full of themselves people can get when they are anonymous. And I feel for these girls, like, I feel really sorry that they have to hear from some sort of idiot that they are raising their kids wrongly or something very strong like that.

It was not once that I've heard them commenting about hard comments on their posts, you can feel that they are hurt, and I can only applaud them for being so brave.

I don't know if I could. It's a thin line between being personal and way too personal on the virtual world, and sometimes we cross the line and say too much about ourselves.

For example, I have tons of good news this last month and sometimes I prefer to keep away from the blog so I don't tell too much. But at the same time, this is what this blog is for, isn't it? To keep friends updated about my life in the UK.

Anyway, as I said on my previous post, this blog will be a bit quiet for a while, till I stop working on this big project and have internet at home. But very soon, friends, very soon we will be back at full speed.

For now, let's think about being kind with people even when we don't agree with their lifestyles, let's respect and let the others be.

Lots of love,
Helena

:(

Hey Blog!

I apologize for the lack of posts here. I'm still without internet at home, and am VERY busy with life.
But next week will be my last week in this job and I'll be more relaxed and full of stories to catch up!

Sorry again,
See you in a few weeks.

I like to move it, move it!

Hello everyone!

Busy times ahead! We just came back from holidays in Istanbul last Saturday. It has been planned ages ago, but because life is never easy, it left us with only one week to pack everything to move out.
The moving is going to happen this Saturday and my flat right now is looking like a bomb exploded over it, we have boxes, wrapping paper and plastic everywhere, clothes out of it's original place, tons of garbage.
Even the cat is looking a bit frightened with all this mess.

But this is all very exciting! A new home, new life, new future.
So many things in my head right now that I am feeling a bit overwhelmed.
So many projects and plans for the future, can't wait to be able to tell you guys everything that's in my head.

But for now, I'll apologise in advance for the time off blogging. This week is crazy with every evening after work filled with packing business, and the weekend will be for unpacking everything again. Assembling furniture and all that jazz.

Internet might not be quickly installed as well, so sorry the delays in posting.

For now, I leave you guys with some awesome pictures from architecture studio TAF:

Hello bloggy blog!

I'm so excited to announce that we are the new tenants of an amazingly cute little house!

The moving date is only in May but this afternoon we signed the contract and did a little visit to the flat to do some measurements. We met the current tenant who is a lovely girl and I felt such a good vibe coming from the place.

We left there with big smiles on our faces and a whole bunch os plans of how to make our new home even more special.

I am really happy! Can't even say. I love the flat we are in now but it feels so good moving to a family size place. It's just like a little pay off for so many years of hard work from both me and husband, it's like our little reward.

Really, it's quite a funny feeling I'm having now. All my life, I've never being a religious person or anything like that but with age I've been believing more and more that it's true: good stuff happens to good people. And maybe the bad moments we've been through in the recent past, maybe they were necessary in order to appreciate these good ones. It might sound really naive and silly but I've been really proud of the person I became, and I deeply believe that I wouldn't be that person if I hadn't been through all that loss I've been.

It's so weird how things happen. I don't believe it's a coincidence that I ended up marrying a man who more or less passed through the same experiences in life than I did, losing our mothers so young, kind of free souls without that many people to bond with. And somehow we met each other, and we understood each other (even having different ways of reacting about all these experiences) and we supported each other.

I've already felt so much alone in life, even when I was surrounded by love from friends and husband, I felt I was by myself. But now this feeling is completely gone, and I feel myself so special and blessed. Blessed for having him, and his smile, and his sparkly blue eyes, and his laugh and now we are moving on with our lives as a little family, me him and our kitty-cat. And we are going to a bigger place in the neighborhood we chose in the city we decided to stay. And work, well, work is just work and luckily we both have ours.
There's been a long time that I don't feel that happy and excited about life and the future.

I just close my eyes every now and then and wish that life doesn't play us another trick and that this happiness can last lots long.

Thank you husband. Next Monday it's our 4th wedding anniversary and I can't thank you enough from being just the best.

Love you.