Now, I'm more into the "role to myself" part as baby has not been born yet. First: the birth.
Since we live in England and here the antenatal care and birth are mainly ruled by midwives in a more natural way, I decided I will go all hippie style and try a non-medical birth. I've been reading books about how to deliver a baby naturally, with no intervention, how to cope with the pain, the concerns, and mainly, the judgement.
Where I come from, in Brazil, I would have had a planned c-section for sure. It's the way things happen there, beyond being good or bad for baby and mother, it's just the way they do it. And even having your belly cut 7 layers of flesh, I have to say it's a bit comforting to know I would go to the hospital at the planned time, and after 2 hours I would have my baby girl in my arms.
Ot the other hand, I'm planning to go for the full longest pain I've ever been through. But I'm happy with my choice. I believe I can do it as many women have been doing for thousands of years. I might just need a bit of support from people I love, that's all.
I've been trying to convince myself that with love everything is possible. No hard words, no screams, non unnecessary fear. That I will, together with husband, love and cherish this moment, treat us with respect, try to laugh, try to praise him and tell him every single moment that he's the best partner I could ever ask, and that together we can deliver this baby girl the best way we can.
And that if I just can't, doctors and nurses will be there to help me, in any sort of way to bring baby girl to the world. And it doesn't matter really if they have to use this or that instrument to help me, I don't care and will not be frustrated, I just want my little baby in my arms healthy and happy.
See you in 2 months, baby girl.
|Me and my hippie mama trousers, or "paaaants" how they call in San Francisco, with 26 weeks|