I've just watched The Hours again.
Oh dear, what a great film. I don't remember enjoying it that much the first time I saw it.
Maybe I was just too young and too happy to understand.
By that time I haven't experienced yet that feeling that I believe only females feel. I don't visualise a man feeling that, they are just too practical and scared to feel such a deep thing.
It's emptiness. Vacuum. It's doubting something you don't even know what it is. It's deep, profound unhappiness.
Oh dear 8 followers, don't need to worry about me, I am fine. Actually I believe I've been living the best moment of my life. Don't remember being that confident that everything would end fine in such a long time.
But I remember some days, a few years ago, when I used to wake up in the morning and the weight of the day was just too heavy to carry. I couldn't bare it. And now, looking to the past, and to the years before that, I see my mother and her lost look, and the way she used to look herself in the mirror and now I understand. At that exactly moment she was feeling the same. It's that feeling of oh my goodness what has happened to me? And you think about it a bit more, and you see how ungrateful you are to feel sad, that you should be happy because you have a great life, and healthy, and food on the table, and friends, and love, but somehow you just don't feel it.
It's crazy. Life it's very complex don't you think?
The other day I read on a blog someone saying that there is beauty on sadness as well, and I truly believe on that.
But anyway it's late and I will try to take those sad thoughts out my tiny pretty head.
Really, it makes you see how fragile our feelings are and how much we should say to people we love that we love them.
Sorry guys, kind of a drag post today, but yes, sometimes sadness is beautiful as well.
Guess what, just like 3 days ago I was thinking I should watch The Hours again :) I've seen it sooooo many times already but there's no end to it. It's like a special treat that I need to have once per year or so. The second last time, I believe, was at your place in Helsinki, Jan 2009 :) And yes, I agree with you 100%... I know what you mean by this undefined, profound sadness.
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